Harvest 16: The Shed

The Harvest series was a series of 17 Instagram posts created over the course of the weeks before and after my mother's death in 2024. Since I've stopped using Meta platforms for political/ethical reasons, I'm re-posting one of the Harvest entries, here.

Pappa built this shed in 1983, when I was seven. With his confidant hands he cut the trees on this land, bucked them up, and built a whole life for us, this building being one of the first big things. He used logs for a foundation, and built a frame of scrap wood and home-milled beams and planks. He used a simple froe to cut hundreds of cedar shakes for the roof, and when he was finished he installed the headboard from my brother’s bunk-bed as a ship’s wheel at the end of the hayloft, and he added a little electric propeller to the front door, so we could pretend we were flying a plane.

My brother and I and all our friends slept many nights in the hayloft, convinced there weren’t any spiders, by night, even though by day the palm-sized wolf spiders crouched between many of the shakes over our heads. We could sleep with our heads by the steering wheel and watch the stars run by.

 

This is the shed where we slaughtered rabbits, raised chickens, hosted haunted houses and tea parties, and eventually made some carpentry projects. It’s the shed my own children think of as the steam train, for the way its roof steams in the winter chill. And after forty-one years, its life is over. The logs that support its sturdy plank-floor have rotted away, and the shed is listing dangerously.

 

 

So this weekend, after slowly emptying it of two generations’ worth of tools and other “useful things”, Pappa pushed it over with his tractor. 

 

It’s hard to see it go, in a year that already gutted our family, but in a way, this evening’s hot dog roast over the flaming pieces of the shed was a kind of letting go. Maybe fire leaves devastation in its wake. Maybe it takes and takes ravenously. But it also cleans.

I feel a bit like I was washed by the flames, tonight. I wonder if that’s how my mother’s flesh and bone felt, as it was burning up in the crematorium. Now she’s become the heat that rose up into that spectacular sunset on the night she burned, and her bones, the tiniest white fragments—molecules mixing with the humus and mineral earth. I hope she feels clean, now. Things look different around her without the shed.